Do you find yourself feeling irritated and you don’t know why? Do you get anxious out of the blue?
Emotions can be a tricky thing…. Have you noticed how much you hate talking about feelings with other people? There is something about vulnerability that we (humans) hate. We do what we can to tuck any feelings like sadness, shame, and worry down deep where we can’t feel it. Whether it’s something traumatic like abuse, or something more gradual like not being happy with where we are in life, it tends to build up and eventually show up in our lives.
Sometimes, these hidden, unprocessed feelings resurface in the form of anxiety (maybe panic attacks out of nowhere). Other times, they resurface in the form of a much more familiar and comfortable feeling – anger. We tend to be much more comfortable with anger because it gives a sense of control and strength. It also hides our vulnerabilities.
One reason we’re not vulnerable with others is because most people don’t know how to respond. They aren’t comfortable sitting in pain with you. It’s more comfortable to try to comfort you or fix it. It’s important to have someone in your life that you can talk to about how you feel. Whether it’s a spouse, a family member, a friend, or a therapist, having someone with whom you can be vulnerable can change your life.
Often, when clients come to therapy for anger issues, we find deeper feelings that they haven’t dealt with (possibly for many years). Processing these feelings may mean taking the time to feel them again, from a safe place. Why? There is something freeing about being allowed to feel what you feel and not be judged for it. There is also something beautiful about allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Just imagine, if you could just be you (the good and the bad). How would your life change?
Licensed Professional Counselor Intern
Under Supervision of Tiffany Smith LPC-S, LMFT-S, NCC