Habits
Why do we have habits that we don’t want to, and struggle to begin new, healthy habits? In Romans 7:15, Saint Paul states, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do”. I think we can all relate to this struggle in our own lives.
In the book, “Atomic Habits,” author James Clear (2018) explores dynamics of how and why we create habits and routines, and he provides helpful techniques to help us change. I’ll summarize and discuss a few of the dynamics over the next few blogs.
Let’s begin with the concept of shifting focus while trying to make a change. James Clear points out the mistake of focusing on the specific behaviors. We make the behaviors the reason for change when they are simply the means to an end. It’s the reason for the change (the why) that helps us stay on track. This dynamic is focusing on who you want to be, or the “identity” for which you strive to become. This identity can be anything that matters to you. You may want to be a good friend, a better parent, a safe driver, a good Christian, an organized student, and so on. Decide who you want to be, increase awareness with regular reminders, then align your behaviors and goals with that identity.
Most of our behaviors are unconsciously based on how we perceive ourselves. We act like we “should” act and develop habits over time. If I see myself as lazy, I may skip chores without thinking twice. If I’m shy, I may not respond to texts because it’s “not what I do.” If I consider myself a “sweet tooth,” guess what, I say yes to desert because I think I “need” something sweet. We unconsciously use our identity (how we see ourselves) for the reason behind many of our actions which become habits. While we are all genetically created with our own blueprint, many of these identities are things we can change by paying more attention to why we do what we do.
Let’s say I think of myself as lazy, but I want to be productive. The next time I have chores to do, remind myself that I’m becoming a productive person and ask, what would a productive person do? If I can keep this up it starts becoming more routine and the next thing I know, my habits are aligned with a productive person, not a lazy one!
A great example is the WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) bracelets. The bracelets provide a reminder of the identity (a Christian) someone is trying to live. Let’s say Jacob wants to be a better Christian. Currently, he wakes up every morning and automatically grabs his phone to check email. He now realizes that this habit is a routine that he doesn’t need, and it doesn’t align with the identity he wants. He’d like to wake up and begin his day with prayers. This habit does align with the identity. This doesn’t make checking emails bad; it just isn’t helping Jacob achieve the identity of being a better Christian.
If you want to change something in your life, begin with naming the identity you want. Then, as you focus on your behaviors ask yourself (what would a “insert identity” do?). Try to align your actions, and eventually your habits, with who you want to be!
