Change is HARD!
Have you ever felt like you’re just not disciplined enough to change a habit? Maybe you’re trying to add something positive like eating healthy or exercising. Perhaps you’re trying to give up video games or spending too much money. Whatever you are trying to change, change is hard.
Sometimes we can change our habits by shifting the way we think about them. I’m talking about rewiring our brain so that we change our thinking patterns. Also helpful, is giving up on perfection, which we may know all too well. Especially because perfection is 1) usually misplaced (on a short-term target, not the end goal) and 2) impossible to attain.
I’ll use the example of trying to get healthy:
Step 1: What is my end goal? Do some digging into what you want to accomplish and why. For example, if your goal is to lose 20 lbs, keep in mind that it may be a tangible target, but it’s not the overall goal. The “why” matters! It may be to feel better, to look better, to avoid diabetes, or just to be able to do more. There are many reasons to lose weight but keep YOUR real goal in mind (not just an arbitrary # of pounds to lose). Unless you have a very specific reason to lose weight (boxers and wrestlers have actual “weigh-ins” before they compete) the weight is just one indicator of progress towards an end goal.
Step 2: Explore the reasons not to change. List the disadvantages of changing your behaviors. It may require effort, money, isolation from social situations, or finding new coping strategies. Then, list what the unhealthy behavior shows about you that is positive. After you come up this this list of reason not to change, ask yourself, “why do I want to do this?” Make sure the benefits you gain from heathier behaviors outweigh the disadvantages of change. If you still want to get healthy proceed to step 3… and stop beating yourself up for failed attempts up to this moment!
Step 3: Keep a daily count of your unhealthy choices. This means that you will count every unhealthy choice that you make. Examples: choosing not to exercise, choosing not to take the stairs, choosing to have that unhealthy snack, etc. This is a fantastic behavioral technique. The awareness of your choices matters here (not the actual counts). By tracking your unwanted behaviors (choices), you bring awareness to them. You are also beginning to think like a healthy person!!
Step 4: Rewire that brain: Now that you have awareness of why you want to change, what’s kept you from changing your behavior? How you handle the day-to-day choices, you can start changing your thought patterns. Write down your tempting thoughts and challenge them with your end goals in mind. You’re now making choices more intentionally.
Step 5: Leave the guilt and shame at the door. If you do make an unhealthy choice, cut yourself some slack. Perfection is NOT the goal remember? Progress towards your goals matter in the long run. Keep in mind that making healthy choices is hard sometimes! In some moments, an unhealthy choice may have more value than a healthy one. Making more healthy choices (than unhealthy choices) is excellent progress.
Life is but a series of choices… Good luck with that change!!
