Where does negative self-talk come from?

I love speaking to groups when mental health topics create conversation with different perspectives and deeper exploration. In a recent talk on dealing with negative self-talk, a participant asked, “why are we the way we are?”  He was asking why we (humans) think so negatively. What a fascinating and important question! I’ll take a stab at my best understanding…

Your thought patterns come from both genetic make-up and your experiences (nurture and nature).  Genetically, your brain’s designed to protect you, and you come from a long line of humans. If you begin from the premise that your brain’s function is to keep you alive, it helps us understand where negativity comes from. Your brain works to avoid pain and threats to your wellbeing (physical, emotional, social, spiritual, etc.). Think of the brain as the body’s warning system. If you stub your toe, the brain will send a bolt of physical pain to your foot. If you experience a meaningful loss, your brain responds with thoughts of grief, followed by the emotional pain.

What happens when your negative thinking hinders you? Sometimes, our brains skew the threats which leads to cognitive distortions.  Negative cognitive distortions are irrational or exaggerated thoughts (or thought patters) that impact our perspective.  Albert Ellis first introduced the concept and later psychiatrists like Dr. Aaron Beck and Dr. David Burns developed cognitive treatments focusing on changing the way we think. Examples are absolute thinking, focusing on negatives, blame, magnification, and mindreading. You can learn more about distortions in the feelinggood podcasts (#10,11, and 12).   

I think of your genetic makeup as the canvas. Your experiences bring color to how you interact with the world and how you respond to your own thinking. Your brain is always learning and evolving, which gives you the ability to change your thought patterns through experience.

The next time you worry a little too much, or get down about a situation, or even get angry with someone, remember that your brain’s warning you of something that matters to you!